Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Say it with me...."Mom of the YEAR!!" um..."NOT!!"

I didn't always want kids, but then one day I did, and the rest his history.  Then after having kids I told myself, "as long as you are better than your own mom, things should work out fine."  Maybe that wasn't the best jumping off point.

My egg donor was like a bad made for T.V. movie mom, REALLY.  Think Mommy Dearest meets some horrible episode of Animal Kingdom where a lioness is eating her young, then multiple by 5, I was lucky to get out a live.  I guess looking back I should have said something like "just try your hardest, and when that isn't working try harder!" 

Well yesterday I dropped the mom ball.  Lauren, got hurt, and let me point out she is fine, just a little bruised.  (however I am taking her to the doctor today to be sure.)  The "MOM of the YEAR" part, I laughed at her pain, but not really her pain, her story of her pain.

My poor sad girl.

In my defense this is how her story went, between sobs on my lap. 

Me:  (running to her as she was coming into the house)  What happened?
Lo:  I got hit by a car!  (she was playing in our front yard, she's only allowed to go a few houses in either direction and is not to ever cross the street)
Me:  (freaking out, seeing red, ready to kill)  You got hit by a car!
Lo:  YES!
Me:  Where?  Who's car?
Lo:  Your JEEP!
Me:  Wait?  My Jeep?  The one PARKED in front of the house?  (this is were the Mom of the year part came in, I LAUGHED, out loud!) 

Then it went all Biblical and she finally fell asleep in my bed, crying, thrashing and gnashing of teeth takes a lot out of you.  It made it really hard to watch NCIS too.  C'mon it was the season opener!

Okay, I'm off to try harder...:) 



Maury @ Life on Mars said...

My mom laughed at me A LOT growing up and let me tell you... she is an AMAZING MOM! So it's ok. This post made me laugh out loud. I even read it to my coworker. :-)

Cassie Bustamante said...

i would have laughed, too! that is too funny!!!! don't you love when your kids get injuries that look like that, too= people look at you funny. sawyer got a black eye when he wasn't even two because he was running with his sippy cup, apparently when you are 2 this is akin to running with scissors. because he fell and the sip part of the cup hit him just below the eye and he had a shiner.

Christine said...

At least you loved on her while you were laughing, right? And you didn't spank her with a wire hanger.....

Deborah March said...

THANKS for the chortle!! Poor sweet girl (lol)

jandjhome said...

Oh, poor thing. I love the pouty lips. You still deserve the award.

Kim @ Too Much Time said...

Poor Baby....BUT So funny too! Thanks for making me giggle this afternoon:)

Artsy VaVa said...

Don't feel bad...we've all been there. I laughed at my daughter while she was crying because she slid on the bathroom floor I had just mopped and hit her toe on the toilet. The next day her foot was black so I took her to the doctor. Her toe was broken!!! That was about 9 years ago and I still laugh at her about it. Who else can say that they broke their toe on a toilet?

Mandy said...

Oh toooo funny!!! Yea we all get the Mom of the Year award one time or another!
Just linked up, thanks for hosting.

Unknown said...

Oh my god, that is so funny. I not only laughed at your story but the comments left here are so funny too. I think you will be forgiven. Poor girl.

Tardevil said...

Ok, just b/c I think you might want some company for mom of the year award, I'll share these stories:
Tonight I was thinking I probably shouldn't be bribing my 2 year old with M & M's to take her medicine (but hey, it worked!). Secondly, put same naked-butt 2 year old in time out for leaving a poop-filled diaper in bean bag chair, only to find out she had gone pee pee by herself in the potty, after said child was in time-out. No wonder she doesn't want to potty train. My older, accident prone, daughter went to the dr. for the 5th time (thought social services was on our trail) b/c she rolled off the bed, and apparently hit her cheek on the side rail of the bed. Had the worst black eye ever, and still has calcifications in her cheek from it. Can only guess that's what happened b/c at the time, her bedroom was on the opposite side of the house from ours. Just to make it more special, she had a field trip to the hospital the next day, which I didn't chaperone, and later (after moving out of that state) found out that the guidance counselor had checked with her to see if she was being abused. Just Oooyyyy. They don't come with manuals.


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